Warning, dangerous umbrellas
In 1978, in London, a Bulgarian dissident Georgi Markov was murdered by a poison dart containing ricin fired from the tip of an umbrella. I thought that would be the last time we’d hear about dangerous umbrellas.
Harrogate shopping centre, 30 years later, and a big sign UMBRELLAS ARE DANGEROUS! Free plastic bags were provided to wrap your wet brolly in to avoid the possibility of danger and death to unsuspecting shoppers. Not actually a bad idea but I thought it was amusing.
Unfortunately, although it was pouring with rain, our baggage allowance hadn’t allowed for umbrellas and it wasn’t clear whether we were supposed to remove our wet clothes and put them in a bag while we went in the bookshop.
Being an early riser I tend to walk the streets in the morning, getting fresh air and exploring. The streets are almost deserted, apart from my fellow insomniacs. In France when you pass someone in the street they will always without fail look you in the eye, smile, and say good morning. So this is what I’ve become used to doing.
In England you get a different reaction. Almost without exception everyone you pass stares steadfastly in the opposite direction, hoping desperately that you aren’t going to attack them, steal their belongings, or stab them with a poisonous umbrella. Seems that a smile and a hello might be considered as an enticement to be attacked.
Strange really, because if I was the sort of person to randomly attack strangers, I would be more inclined to go for those who ignored me than those who smiled politely. Happily I’m not, so I suppose I’m not really qualified to comment.
Same with runners. When I run in France the other runners all say hallo (or a breathless variety of it!) and give the sort of smile that says “yup, we’re both mad”. In England they ignore me and I’m left with the impression that it’s just me who’s mad for trying to be polite.