Still cycling
You will know from earlier posts that I am a born-again cyclist, and that me and my bike are kitted out like NASA Central so that I can monitor all aspects of my well-being as I cycle along - lung capacity, skin temperature, wind speed and so on. But there is one last aspect to cycling that I have avoided until now (and I don’t mean ‘getting on my bike’). That is cycling shoes.
For those of you who don’t know, cycling shoes a bit like trainers on the top, except they have velcro fasteners rather than laces (less air resistance, I suppose). But underneath they have completely rigid soles, on to which a special bracket is screwed. This special bracket then clips irremovably into the pedal during cycling. As an aside this makes the shoes completely impossible to wear when not on a bike, since the toe end is hoisted off the ground by the bracket, but that is the least of the problems.
For this system to work the you also need special bike pedals, that are completely unusable with normal shoes and trainers. So the bike can no longer be used to pop to the bakers, it is now a PROFESSIONAL CYCLING BIKE.
Setting off is the first challenge. You need to clip one foot onto a pedal, then launch off with that foot. You then have about three seconds in which to flip the other pedal into the correct position and get the second foot clipped in. If you fail you come to a halt, with one food still attached to the bike, and fall over. This is not funny, because it hurts.
This is all easy enough on a flat or slightly downhill stretch of road. On an uphill stretch it is much harder, because you only have about one second to complete the process.
Ironically these pedals are known as clipless pedals, presumably because they do not require toe-clips. A misnomer all the same.
Having mastered this first challenge you are away, faster and more efficient at cycling than ever before. Until you come to an obstacle. A road junction, a parked car or a small child teetering at the edge of the road ready to cross now all become major events. You need to anticipate, and to slow down as much as possible without actually stopping. Because stopping requires the shoes to be unclipped - you swing your foot to the side rather than lift it up - and then reclipped. Hence you will see cyclists meandering wildly across the road as they approach a junction, to avoid the possibility of needing to come to a complete stop.
My research showed me that in fact every single cyclist fell off their bike shortly after starting with clipless pedals, and most had large scars to prove it. Some had fallen many times. Basically, if you need to stop quickly and you can’t get your feet unclipped quickly enough, you fall over with your feet still attached to the bike. Apart from hurting, this also looks completely ridiculous to onlookers, who don’t understand why you haven’t put a leg out to stop yourself falling over.
As a result of all these risks I was very careful the first time I went out, anticipating every obstacle correctly. I got home unscathed and smug. Same thing the second time. My confidence was growing.
The third time out I stopped for a drink of water on a quiet country road. No traffic and no obstacles, but I fell over. Why? I had simply got used to the pedals and forgotten I was wearing them. So I just came to a halt, started to put my foot out, failed and fell. Luckily the only onlooker was a cow in a nearby field, so I avoided complete humiliation, but still it was very painful cycling home again with an enormous grit filled graze on my knee. I tried washing it with my drinking water but that just made things worse.
But anyway, having now adjusted to my new pedals, and having earned the battle scars, I can consider myself to be a real cyclist. Although I am still nervous when I need to reach for a water bottle as I am cycling along.
And the next time you are out driving in a car, please be attentive to the cyclists ahead of you, because they really are an unstoppable force.
