Like Tom Sawyer
As part of my life here in France, I have had to renovate some old buildings - a barn, a cottage and an old farmhouse. Sometimes I have got in the professionals - more often than not, in truth - and other times I have had a go myself. Sometimes, by watching a professional on one building, I can pick up enough tips to get on and do it myself for the next building. Especially if the work is menial and repetitive, and not too dangerous.
So whereas I would always find an expert to do the electrical work, I have often repointed a stone wall myself. Although I say so myself, I am now a dab hand at repointing old stone walls, and our barn looks not bad at all. And it’s pretty therapeutic work into the bargain.
But the ’skill’ of repointing a stone wall is not widely known. Most expats have a go, take three weeks to complete a couple of square metres, and then call in a highly paid expert. So what can I do to help out these poor souls?
Well, of course I could offer to go and help them out, which would make them very happy, but it would make me very tired, and behind on my own work. So instead, I have them around to chez moi, where they can spend the day mixing sand and lime, pointing a wall, and generally enjoying a day of closely supervised training.
This works well for me, and demand to pass a day helping me is growing fast. I sit around drinking tea and offering words of support and criticism while the unpaid help get on and repoints my barn for me. This is good. “Perhaps just a little more practice”, and “You’ve nearly got it now” keeps the workers motivated, as I crack open a beer, and slowly but surely the barn gets repointed.
Of course, I have to stay close to hand rather than go shopping or go back to bed, but all the same it beats hard work. My only problem is, I am on the last wall of the last building now, and almost all the work is done. So what to do?
I think perhaps I will buy a ruin somewhere in these parts, get the whole building renovated free by enthusiastic volunteers, then sell it for an enormous profit. That way, I can avoid needing to work out the vagaries of the French pension system as well. So now I just need two investors out there wanting to go halves on the purchase of a ruin…
(For the benefit of those who can’t make it to my one day course of sweat, blood and tears, the process is also described at Renovation in France). Good luck.
