Those of you who need to keep in touch with your office or access your emails while you travel probably keep an eye out for hotels that have wifi (internet) access when you are planning your trip.  Note to hotel owners in France: for me, and many others, this internet access is actually quite important.

I’ve just got back from a few days travelling across the south of France, where three out of four hotels failed to provide the promised internet access, so I thought I’d write a quick guide to what hotels mean when they say they have internet access, since there is often a difference between what they say and what they actually provide

Free WIFI available throughout the premises

This usually means that no internet is available and was mentioned as a feature either to trick you into booking or because the owner didn’t think anyone would really use it or notice it’s absence.

When asked, the owner will tell you that it is temporarily unavailable, or that the installation has been temporarily delayed due to technical problems.

One notable exception – the budget ETAP hotels seem quite reliable at providing general and free internet access when promised.

WIFI available throughout the premises

Slightly different to the category above, in that when you ask how to access the internet they will tell you that there is a charge, sometimes up to 10 euros an hour. Be careful, perhaps they will also charge you for turning the TV on or having a glass of water.

Prize in this category goes to the IBIS hotel I stayed in that charged 4.50 euros an hour for WIFI. The irony was, the hotel was next door to an ETAP hotel (a cheaper hotel with free internet access, but already full when I tried to book) and, even better, it was across the road from a McDonalds, which offered completely free and unlimited internet access – although I suppose you will feel obliged to buy a cup of coffee.

The Twilight Zone

This category is for those hotels that have tried to provide access, but not quite tried hard enough. The WIFI works, but only in very restricted locations, such as when you are sat behind the desk in the hotel reception, or on the roof terrace of the building opposite.

My favourite was the small hotel in Arles where the WIFI worked, but only when the computer was on the floor far away from furniture. Unfortunately the room was too small for me to also be on the floor, so I had to lie on the bed and reach down to the computer. Not an easy way to work.

The hotel where I stayed in Florac (Gorges du Tarn) comes second in this category for promising ‘free internet everywhere’  – while really meaning it was completely unavailable unless you sat on a chair in reception with your computer balanced on a small table. (In fact I am writing this blog entry in this Florac hotel, but will not be able to post it until I get home this evening – even my ‘free in reception’ usage having expired at four o’clock this morning (it is granted for 10 hours only).

No WIFI

This means the hotel neither has, or claims to have, internet access at any point in the hotel. This category of hotels have two great advantages:

• first, you can be sure the owners are honest;
• second, you avoid the stress and disappointment of arriving at yet another hotel only to find that you have been duped again

These hotels come highly recommended, especially when they are in a town that is big enough to also have a McDonalds, that seem perfectly able to offer free internet access to all sundry without demanding a copy of my passport, driving licence and innoculation record (unlike my hotel this morning).