Good to see that this year’s Tour de France will be following with the traditions of the past – that is to say, with the drug and doping scandals of the past – it has just been announced that Ivan Basso, one of the favourites for this years race, has been banned from competing for two years.

Same old story then. According to the reports:

Basso, who was among dozens of riders implicated in the Operation Puerto affair, denied ever having taken banned drugs or using tampered blood, but admitted to having attempted to do so.

Well I suppose it’s as close to an admission as we can hope for. I’m not sure what ‘admitted having attempted to do so‘ might mean – Mrs B says it means he choked on the tablet, but she’s only guessing I think.

Floyd Landis, last years deposed winner, still denies ever taking drugs despite tests proving that the steroids in his blood were artificial – i.e. produced in a laboratory not in a person.

Perhaps artificial steroids turn up unexpectedly in breakfast cereals and tap-water without us realising.

It has been said (probably by me, as well as others) that it would actually be impossible to finish, let alone win, the Tour de France without cheating. Three weeks of riding 200 kilometres almost every day, often through mountains, and all at super-speed. It doesn’t sound funny, even if you’re superman.

Anyway, not to worry, I’m sure someone will turn up on the day to take part. The Tour de France starts in London this year, so the contestants will also have to deal with the drug-sniffing hounds at customs. I imagine it could cause an unpleasant incident if the highly trained dogs get wind of drugs in a competitors bloodstream and set upon them to retrieve it.

And here’s a handy hint for customs officers – check the saddle posts and the handlebar ends on the bikes, they make great hiding places. Usually used by cyclists to stash a five euro note for emergencies, I’m sure it would work just as well for half a litre of tainted blood and a few medicinal use only pills.