French expats returning to England
We went to a party last night for a family who have been here in France for a few years and are now returning to England. I can’t say I’m envious, I like it here!
A good number of expats do return to England - perhaps 50% within two years I would guess from people we know, although this figure might well bear no relationship with expats in France as a whole.
But why do people give up on their dream? In truth I rarely know the real reason. The most common reasons appear to be lack of money, missing the family, work-related issues, and (dare I say it)…problems with meeting and integrating with the local community.
I don’t know which of these reasons is most important . How much is it really due to problems in learning French - I don’t know that either. People are more likely to say they are missing their family than that they have run out of money, and more likely to say they have a great job opportunity in the UK than that they could never be bothered to learn French. Which is a shame because it would be instructive for potential expats to know and understand the real reasons it doesn’t always work out.
I understand that ‘returnees’ often feature on UK television, and in the same way that new arrivals in France are often critical of all things English, the returning families are often critical of all things French. It is easier to blame the return on the French as a nation rather than on bad planning or lack of funds.
So here’s a bit of news - neither country is perfect! Which one is most suited to you depends on lots of things. Health and education are important? France is probably for you. Have an entrepreneurial spirit? Try England. Like the sunshine? The south of France is waiting for you. Like the local pub and an Indian curry every saturday? Stop in the UK.
In the UK you can spend hours on the train commuting every day, in France you can spend hours waiting for a train because the drivers are on strike. Which would you prefer?
I have been in france for 6 months and love the country and the people. The problem is my husband is not the man i brought with me and is drinking to excess making a glass of wine unbearable to me. I will be going ‘home’ if this does not improve in the next 6 months. Not for any reason you have mentioned but i am very unhappy and feel lost now without my friends in the UK to sound off. I have excellent contact with friends and family but do not feel i can tell them my problems in this so called chosen ideal world. i am sure there are other women out there with similar problems but nothing i have read establishes the fact.
Hi…(I removed your name from your post, hope that’s OK)
Thanks very much for that, I’m very sorry to hear of your experience. I think it’s quite common that relationships can be strained and people can change after moving abroad - typically after moving we see much more of our partners, being together 24 hours a day, and have more free time, and people do change, not always for the better. Combined with missing friends and family this can make things very hard.
My guess is that you would find your family/friends very supportive if you told them your problems, in the same way that I imagine you would be supportive if one of them rang you with a problem.
I really hope things work out for you in 2008, whatever you decide to do and wherever you end up.
I am in a relationship that no longer works. I want to return to UK, to start over. I am 63, with limited funds. Has anybody any ideas of websites wherein I might seek advice on social housing etc.
Hi, my wife and I are about to move to France, in doing so we have to reluctantly sell our beautiful narrowboat, with a live aboard mooring. I hope we do not have the same misfortune that some people have had to bare. I wondered, having read the problems of money verses accomodation, if any expats with limited funds have thought of purchasing a narrowboat to live on, they have everything you need to live comfortably, a great way to get to know people and the added bonus of the option to travel to some lovely parts of Britain. The most difficult thing to obtain is a live aboard mooring, but not impossible. If you think this might be an option for you, mail me, we may be able to help.
I will be back in the country on Monday May 25th. pstarkey03@aol.com