You may recall that my first outing on a bike was not an enormous success. In fact a complete and utter shambles. But I’m not one to give up so easily, and the countryside awaits. So a couple of months later (ignore the date on the first post – that’s when I set up this blog!), I have now tried again, this time sporting an attractive new cycling helmet, having learned a valuable lesson the last time I set off.

I’m pleased to say I completed the whole ride without once falling off or sticking my head down a rabbit hole, so you can stop reading now if you are hoping to learn of the terrible injuries I have received. But I have learned a bit more about the rules of the road in France.

>DOGS ALWAYS HAVE RIGHT OF WAY

This is a little known rule until you start cycling. Every farmhouse in France has a few dogs, and if you walk passed them they will usually completely ignore you. But there is something about a bike that turns a calm, well trained dog into a ferocious animal. Perhaps it is the quiet humming of the wheels on the tarmac, but they can’t bear it – they have to give chase. Growling, yapping, barking and snarling – I’ve had them all during this ride.

I changed my route on two occasions to avoid the dogs waiting for me in the road ahead, and simply found different dogs on different roads instead. So I have been researching the best ways to get around the problem, and various ideas have emerged. Some are more practical than others

IDEA 1: Carry a water pistol, and squirt any dog that gets too close. Of course the dog might think it’s a game or chase you even further. Should work well with an aggressive cat though. Presumably your water bottle will work just as well.

IDEA 2: Carry a squeezy plastic lemon and squirt it in the eyes of any dog that gets too close. I think this might need some practice – squirting with accuracy in a dogs eyes while cycling along and being attacked might well lead to an even worse acident.

IDEA 3: Carry a rolled up, preferably smelly, old cloth, and throw it at the dog. It won’t hurt him, but in principle should distract him long enough for you to make your getaway. Only works for the first attacker, unless you carry a whole basketful of old cloths with you to throw around the countryside.

IDEA 4: Shout at the dog (in France try ‘coucher’ or ‘dans la maison’, being typical words a French dog is trained to understand). I saw this work for a French cyclist. The dog didn’t actually lie down or go in the house, but thought about it long enough to be suitably distracted.

IDEA 5: Give up cycling. There’s no point going cycling if it is bad for your health, and rabies really is bad for you.

So now I realise why ‘proper’ cyclists have those shirts with a multitude of pockets across the back. It’s so they can carry a wide assortment of weaponry with them. No space left for bananas and energy bars, just old tea towels, water pistols and squeezy lemons.

So for the next time, I will be prepared..watch this space