Once a year something terrible descends on our house. It lasts about four hours, moves around the hose with a terrible fury, making strange and startling noises and destroying everything in its wake.
It is a children’s birthday party.
There is one advantage of childrens parties in rural France. In the UK, birthday parties cost a fortune – you pay for clowns or bouncy castles, and then you prepare an enormous feast of food and soft drinks, most of which ends up on the floor or making two or three children horribly sick. In France a few sweets, a slice of birthday cake and a glass of coke and everyone is happy as can be.
But in the absence of a magician to keep the children entertained, rapidly followed by a three course feast, there is more time for havoc. Hence the problem and the chaos.
Now at risk of saying something controversial, I must say that the average child in France is about 10 times better behaved than the same age child in the UK. Respect for adults, and good manners, actually still exist, and this makes things a whole lot easier. But the fact still remains that four hours with 15 ten year old running around the house is hard work.
Another little difference – in the UK all the presents that are brought get put on a table somewhere, to be opened after the guests have left, avoiding the problem of the third
identical Barbie doll bringing a public tear of disappointment to the eyes of the birthday girl. Here, all presents are opened immediately, and get judged publicly by all the other children. It is surprisingly rare that this causes problems.
But we have survived, the children are happy, and all is well. It is now 6.45pm, the party finished 45 minutes ago, and at least five children are still here. Perhaps their parents have forgotten them, or don’t want them back.
Not to worry, the tax system in France is very generous to families lots of children, so perhaps we’ll keep them and get rich.
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